Apathy and Discouragement

The past few days I have really felt apathetic, and occasionally discouraged, about this weight loss journey. It's so weird to feel that way when not to long ago I was chatting about how upbeat I was and how I actually had goals in mind. I was reading my friend Arlene's blog this morning and she is feeling similar to me.
Looking back on it, I can't help but wonder when the feeling started creeping up on me. Was it while I was spouting inspiration to myself? Have I been lying to myself about how I'm doing and feeling? Quite probably. I have a history of lying to myself about a problem for a while before acknowledging it and doing something.
I had said last night that I would be going to Weight Watchers today. I will go after work and I will be staying for the meeting. I know I need to go, and I know I need the support the meeting will give me. Even if I do need to actually do things like go grocery shopping. That will just have to wait. I don't like the idea of going to the meeting though. I don't want to step on that scale and see the numbers have gone up. I deserve to see them go up though. I just haven't been doing the program. I've just been pretending to do so. But today I just have to look it square in the face and say I will do better next week. I have decided to start the Wendie program next week. I think I need a little more self control and a little more structure to get going than what I have been allowing myself. I'll just follow it strictly for a week or two and see how things go from there.

I CAN do this. I have DONE this before. I just have to look at the previous success, and not the following failure, and keep on going. I REFUSE to fail on this important journey. I don't consider giving up on getting my degree, so I have no excuse to even consider giving up on this.